there was a mess, a vague sense of direction, and a yearning for something beyond what was, and expectations that never seemed to be able to be met.
And then one day, after life got turned upside down, and we had no clue as to whether or not our we would turn into just me, life as we knew it shifted. Funny thing about that is, it continued to shift, and still continues to shift.
I grew up thinking, believing, that I only had to get to this one level, and everything would be fine! It was the classic, when this happens, then I’ll be…
That is not true though. Life will always shift, because that is what life does. You will make plans, and then the plans will go awry – maybe not always, but often enough. In the past, I would get so angry when this happened. What was I doing that things weren’t going my way? Was I not being good enough, smart enough, living in the “right” way?
Nope. I had unrealistic expectations that were continually getting crushed (because they were unreal), which meant I was I was mostly disappointed, angry, and frustrated. What was I doing wrong?
Oh, if I could go back and scoop up that precious child into my arms. I would bring her close to my heart, kiss her on the top of the head, and tell her I love her. I don’t know if I would actually go back and change anything, because everything I have been through has brought me here, before you, writing this.
And today, I really like the person I’ve become. Yes, it would have been fabulous to have met her sooner, and have the knowledge I have now, then, but would it? Would I have met my beloved? Would I have given birth to my kiddos? I don’t know if I’d want to risk it. Because who I was then, oh, she was another person in many ways, and one that I think back on with a lot of compassion and forgiveness, as she was just trying to find her own way.
Today, I have a vision as to where my life is going. Although I don’t know exactly how to get there, I don’t need to know. I’ve got a plan (shout out to Lifebook), and I’m more adaptable than I’ve ever been – which has been the greatest gift.
Right now, I’m in the midst of learning about business, branding, and more, while managing a ton of content that is swirling around in my brain. It’s messy right now, and sometimes I feel a little lost, but I know I’ll find my way. Looks like I’ll be bringing you lovely readers along for the ride…
